fantasies....

Often time we get caught up in the fantasies, whether it’s big or small. These fantasies filled our ordinary lives and it is these brief fantasies that makes us feel alive, but once they past and reality sets in we realize that the fantasies are just that, little pockets of time that could’ve been wonderful, beautiful, disastrous and dramatic. I’m beginning to realize that we have these fantasies because we are lacking something in real life; we yearn to feel a certain way, want certain things we can’t have in real life. I was looking for something that I thought I didn’t have and instead of asking for it, I looked else where, when in fact it was in front me of all this time. How could I have missed that?

P.S. this is my way of letting go. I need to let go. I need to move on.

I didn't even like him

He was rude and annoying.... and did I mention arrogant? I don't even like him as a person, it was the voice and the feeling he gave me that made me miss him. It'll eventually go away. Its not like he was amazing to began with.

"It is often thought (by non photographers) tthat documentary photography records something that was evident before the photograph was made, but in fact good photographs are products of discoveries made with in the process of photographing"

Boston can make you lonely

I am homesick. It may have something to do with an individual, I use to have conversations with. this individual and i don't talk anymore. We decided to stop talking because of lies that were told. What puzzles me is that he claim to have known the truth a long time ago but yet carried this on until now. Sure there is a part of me that wishes things were different, but than there is also a part of me that is happy to have ended this. I don't know why I'm still bother by this. It could very well be guilt or my conscious but whatever it maybe I can't get pass it and I need to get pass it. So how do I get through this?

strangers

I can't help it but think about him constantly. Aside from the photos and the fake career everything was real.

600 huntington ave, box 811C.

I will be living there for the next 4 months. I haven't been there but I already know I don't want to come back already. He say's we're done. I think he may be right.

Back to reality…

Back to reality…

After a weekend of goodness fun, I’m back home, realizing that I have less than two weeks before I’m gone. My time in Chicago was beautiful. Our hosts were wonderful. I must admit, this trip to the windy city was much more fun than the last time I was there. It could have been the people I was with. Whatever it was it was good times.

as it get closer and closer and actually seeing that this is really going to be happening, i must admit, i'm both excited and scared.